while we are at it...

Another few episodes in the very beleaguered life of leah:

So on Saturday night I go volunteering with the social services branch of my church, Bethesda (Bedok-Tampines) and the plan is to bring a group of elderly around to geylang serai and then on to little india for them to see the hari raya and deepavali decorations. I totally lucked out and got assigned to this lovely peranakan lady who was clearly - and admirably - on fire for Christ. So much so that she literally stops every other person who walks by and goes, "Do you believe in Jesus??" Now, this was ok on the bus. This was ok during dinner. This was even ok in little india, on the trishaw (the trishaw man got a bit like, errr, but he just indulged her for the most part.)
However, this was NOT ok when we got off for a little walk around Geylang Serai. I don't know if I've ever felt in more danger of death by lynching. Honestly!! Goodness.
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Today, very randomly, I decided to wander around Little India (again!) with Risa and her friend. Just cos, you know, I've never been there on a Sunday evening. So I'm walking around, and Risa goes, 'You know, here got a lot of transvestites.' Me: 'Oh where, where? Let's go look!' After wandering around the back alleys of the Desker Road area for 15minutes, just as I am starting to feel profoundly unattractive - especially compared to the pudgy wrinkly 45year old transvestites getting accosted by ten or so men who cast nary a look in our direction, almost as if we didn't even exist *pfffffff* - Jerold rings:

Him: 'Where are you?'
Me: 'Desker Road.'
Him: 'What?'
Me: 'Yes, feeling damn unattractive.'
Him: 'I tell you what you need to do.'
Me: 'Uh huh.'
Him: 'Get a coconut.'
Me: 'I happen to be drinking from one at the moment.'
Him: 'Ah, perfect. Now, you need to crack it and smear the coconut oil and flesh all over yourself.'
Me: 'Damn gross. Go and die lah.'

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Then later, on the phone with Gabriel arranging to go for supper, I tell him what happened earlier:
Me: 'Oh and you got to give me more time to get down to the market. I just painted my nails. They need to dry.'
Him: 'Oh doing that to make yourself feel more attractive is it?'
Me: 'Go and DIE lah.'

Fifteen minutes later, I head down, and this random man on a bike starts trying to talk to me.
I wave him off and tell Gabe about it when I see him.
Him: "SEE? It's the NAILS, I tell you!!"
Me: "GO AND DIE LAH!"
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Sometimes my friends leave me truly speechless.