sometimes, amidst it all..

First day of term was crazy, as expected, and the craziness is going to continue for the rest of the month. Sometimes, amidst the craziness of running around and trying to keep so many things in the air all the time there is a deeper ache, a certain strange unspeakable kernel of sadness that you can try to enfold with sound and motion but underneath it all it is there - resolute and constant. I am trying to see it as the fallen being's craving to be part of the perfect beauty that it occasionally senses in a sudden clap of song, a fleeting snatch of light, but sometimes it's difficult, and I just want to retreat into myself, to this place of inexplicable, imperfect grief.